Like Every Coin Has Two Sides..

Mumbai, 27th December, 2014:

      Note: By writing the following blog post neither am I being biased towards anyone, nor am I on a mission to support men in their wrong doings. I’m just here to inform the others about the trending issue of cruelty that is being committed towards men in the society these days, since women are misusing those laws enacted for them.

I’M WRITING THE FOLLOWING POST SINCE IN THE PAST FEW DAYS, I MYSELF AS AN INTERN ATTENDING TRIALS IN THE HONORABLE COURT, AND WORKING THERE HAVE ENCOUNTERED CASES WHEREIN WOMEN ARE REGISTERING FALSE CASES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, WHEREIN THE HUSBAND HAS HAD TO SUFFER TERRIBLY, I’LL BE CITING THOSE CASES FURTHER. NAMES OF THE ACCUSED WILL BE CHANGED, WITH RESPECT TO PRIVACY OF THE SAME.

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With the dynamic change in the social structure, the thinking and awareness of people change. A steady change has been seen in today’s life in the mind of elites about  opposite move of cruel treatment in family sphere where husbands are ill treated by their wives and the relatives of wives. The judiciary in it’s experience and cataloging of judgement has also been sensitized to issues and facts of the cruel treatment by wives to their husbands with single action and/or with help of paternal relatives.

   “WHILE MAKING SPECIAL LAWS FOR WOMEN, THE LEGISLATORS MUST THINK OF VICTIMIZED SECT OF SOCIETY IN MALE LINE”

In India and elsewhere in the world, there are no special laws for males. There is Dowry Prohibition Act, section 498A in IPC ( Indian Penal Code ) i.e. offense of cruelty by husband and relatives of husband and many many more acts to support women. The cry of victimized husbands and their relatives is not heard by the society nor the courts. The practice says that the real purpose of the women-related specify laws are mis-used and thereby their husbands suffer for no fault of theirs.

Since I’m interning with a very well-known criminal justice lawyer, I’ve witnessed cases myself of DV ( Domestic Violence), wherein wives are falsely accusing husbands of mental and physical torture, and by studying the cases I’ve been deeply shaken. In one of the cases, the wife has eloped her husbands house along with their 7 year old daughter, without informing anyone. She has done so since, she wants to have the 2 flats that belong to her husband. In that process, she has defamed her husband, tried to break through the door. Evidences prove that she is falsely accusing her husband, of cruelty. There are text messages to prove that, she has warned him either to hand her over the 2 flats or else she along with her family would slap a law suit for dowry. and also domestic violence. That becomes far easier, because in cases of harassment or domestic violence no police investigation is done.The husband earns a meager amount of rs.8,000 per month and still has to pay for all the legal proceedings. He isn’t allowed to meet his own daughter, his daughter is being kept in the dark, not given food and water since days together, nor has she been send to school by her own mother. such is the condition. 2 more cases of the same nature have been witnessed by me.

Not that I’m saying all cases which have been registered for harassment or violence by husbands to wives are false in nature. 80% of them are very much true, but surely 20% are false also at the same time. This is one issue which hasn’t received proper acclamation till date. Agreed, that violence against women is far more than we imagine, but on the other hand also men are suffering due to torture, cruelty. Certain laws need to be enacted in order to curb the cases of false allegations by women. It not only defames the social image of the accused but also ruins him psychological as well as mentally. Is basically is quite a bit disheartening, my heart aches of the accused still, because looking at evidences from both sides it’s definitely clear as to whose at fault and whose not. The Men rights movement in India is associated with various men rights organizations. They demand gender neutral laws and repeal of laws that they consider anti-men. Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) has claimed that the suicide rate of married men is almost twice that of women, due to them being “unable to withstand verbal, emotional, economic and physical abuse” from their wives.SIFF has pointed to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data to show that suicide in married men is much higher than in married women.

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The Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code which deals with cruelty to a wife states that:

Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.

For the purposes of this section, “cruelty” means:
(a) any wilful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or
(b) harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her to meet such demand.

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The Section 498a of the Indian Penal Code:

Allows the police to arrest the persons mentioned in the complaint without a warrant or without any investigation.The crime is non-bailable, so chances of getting a bail are low and husbands usually lose their jobs. There is no provision of withdrawing a complaint in case of a reconciliation.

According to Ram Prakash Chugh, about 87% of the women in Tihar jail are there due to dowry charges. He has claimed that sometimes mothers of the bride bring dowry charges on their in-laws when the bride fails to adjust to her in-laws.[2Organisations like All India Mother-in-Law Protection Forum (AIMPF) and Mothers And Sisters of Husbands Against Abuse of Law (MASHAAL) have been formed to represent such women. According to Sunil Gupta, a spokesperson for Tihar Jail, there 280 in-laws in the prison accused of dowry harassment and most of them are women. The women are held in a separate section of the prison, which has been nicknamed Saas-Nanand (mother-in-law and sister-in-law) barrack.

According to SIFF, these laws don’t follow conventional legal premises where a person is innocent until proven guilty. It has also pointed out that several of those who are arrested under this law are women themselves, i.e., female relatives of husbands.According to Swarup Sarkar, spokesman of SIF, men with low incomes are rarely targeted and most victims of misuse are well-off.Former justice of Delhi High Court Shiv Narayan Dhingra has admitted that this law is being used by women to harass their husbands and in-laws. He has opined that parents should not go through with a marriage if dowry is being demanded of them. According to Ponappa, a Men’s Rights activist from Mysore, and Kumar Jahgirdar, president of the Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP), a non-governmental organization, a married man commits suicide every nine minutes in India due to the alleged misuse of Section 498a of the Indian Penal Code against them.

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   So my prayer is,

Laws should be enacted for men too. I understand that most of my posts have been women-oriented, but this is an issue which needs to be looked up to since it’s slipping out of hand now. Moreover by witnessing such aches, my heart further aches. Such laws should be enacted as to protect their rights too in certain matters and issues.

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63 thoughts on “Like Every Coin Has Two Sides..

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  3. Tough to read, but needs to be changed. Yes, I agree with other comments regarding the gender neutral wording. I would point out though, that even in the United States, this has not gone as far as it should have in protection of women. We still fight cultural, patriarchal thoughts and systems that need changed.
    However, I so agree with this post. India has stiffer penalties for men.. Regardless, men and women should be treated fairly and equally. It is a fight that must continue. I always worry about the imbalance in that fight sliding toward the ones with more power, ie. males, if that is the system in place, but that is not a reason to stop the fight.
    Very good post. I enjoyed reading it. Thank you.
    CC

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Let us just hope when that law is finally made that men do not falsely accuse their wives too. Society should focus more on the prevention of domestic violence by educating the people about respect of basic human rights. And there should be support from every sector of the society to implement human rights.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Interesting to read about parallels occurring in your country, Hardi, and mine. I don’t think men are as put upon here, but one area that is being challenged in the U.S. is the law’s bias toward women in divorce cases, when designating alimony and custody of children.

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  6. Fifty Shades, I really appreciate you approaching this issue from both sides. As a man, I find it difficult to discuss the issue without coming off as insensitive (and a little bitter ). So I’m glad you did it for me.

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  7. I think the key words here are ‘gender neutral’. Until Indian laws are equal between both sexes you won’t see anything like true justice on a large scale. That said, I would say it is hard to find such justice in any country’s legal system. I know from the position as both accused (falsely) and accuser in my own country and would say justice is hit-and-miss at best!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I read your post and I have realized that your intention is to show that not always a wife, a woman is the victim but she can be the cause of legal woes to her husband, to a man.
    I say that this is not just an Indian problem, but it is a general question.
    Justice should establish the truth and apply the proper punishment. If the Criminal Code has shortcomings, someone should try to eliminate them.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I totally agree there needs to be a balance, and the judicial system is supposed to supply that. However in the majority of cases it is the man who is abusive and in our country the government is promoting through TV the fact there needs to be a cultural change in the attitude of men toward women. Women are not a subservient class to be exploited but are the man’s other self. So from both sides the relationship between men and women should be considered as a partnership and each should be cherished for each other’s strengths, specially in a marriage relationship. In my 20 years in India I did not hear of any bridegroom burnings, the news items were of bride burnings unless I was reading the wrong newspapers. Your blog needs to be taken on board, justice should always be served because it is needed rather than because of public pressure.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sure should.
      I agree that most of the cases of violence happen on women, but at the same time, there has been increasing number of false allegation cases on men just for either property, money, or to defame.
      So that issue needs to be dealt with at the earliest.
      The issue of equality.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I agree with you and I also believe equal rights for both women and men. Most of the times, my feminist comrades take me to task and get upset to me as why I should even consider any decent idea for men when it is the “men” doing all wrong. Now that sort of nonsense in name of feminism is not supported by myself at all and I have distanced myself from it.
        I believe that to progress both women and men have to rethink creatively and logically as how we can together achieve equality and equity within societies and yes better legislation should be the first step. Because if legislation weren’t discriminatory towards women, this sort of tit for tat scenario was not developing on a fast alarming pace within global societies.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I agree with you completely. Even I’ve seen such a cse in our locality where the husband was falsely accused by the wife. He was taken in custody and as 498A is non bailable there was not much to do. The irony is, 498A has been misused by educated urban women but on the other hand, those who I think were in real need of the law, the uneducated, rural lot don’t even have an idea about it’s existence.

    A really informative post and I didn’t know that organizations like All India Mother-in-Law Protection Forum or MASHAAL really do exist! Thanks for coming up with the issue.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks a lot for going through and commenting !
      And totally, the act is being badly misused, I do not understand why such educated women have to commit such foolish acts. Its harmful to the opposite party, as well as the society as a whole.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I can only comment as a female victim of domestic violence…I endured severe escalation over the last year- a real victim seldom reports because she/he is in real fear for safety. Justice is slow, and the violence only escalates. My abuser has murdered, lied, and profited from his wrong-doing and evil plots. Meanwhile, he has escaped having to pay to help support our children, left us homeless-at the mercy of family members….

    Liked by 2 people

    • Im so very sorry to hear about that!
      I completely understand that fewer women have the guts to actually go and report such cases,
      Im sure he’ll have to pay for his wrong doings sooner or later.

      Like

  12. A really excellent post. It seems we’re still a long way from true equal rights in so many areas. It was very interesting to hear of men’s rights in India and how the law deals with such cases.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. This reminds me of a rape case here in a PH, one of the few cases a lawyer friend of mine had to deal with a few years back. A guy was being falsely accused on rape and was sent to jail for life, until recently when the charges were dropped when it was proved the claims were fabricated. It just goes to show that not only in India, but everywhere the lack of compassion from both sexes exist.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. From the statutes you linked, it seems that the main problem is that they suffer from a lack of gender neutral wording. In the U.S., we had the same problem with sexual assault statutes. Men could not complain of being raped or sexually assaulted because the statute required the victim to be a woman. These statutes were reworded in the 90’s, and now men and women are protected from sexual assaults.

    I think that gender neutral wording would solve the problems you raise with regards to men being in abusive relationships. I don’t have the link to U.S. data, but in my country some 40% of domestic abuse is perpetrated by women on men (and this is just in reported cases; I am sure there is social stigma associated with men not admitting their wives abuse them).

    As for parties intentionally lying, I wonder if there are ethics rules which prohibit attorneys from allowing their clients to knowingly relate false information under oath or in court. For example, I have a law license in the U.S., and if I had a client that I knew wanted to lie to the court, I’d have to discourage that client. If that didn’t work, I’d have to tell the judge. Perhaps if a few lawyers in your country who let their clients lie for monetary gain were treated severely, it would send a profound message to others: don’t let your clients lie to get stuff.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. मैं अपनी आत्मा से इस शक्ति का स्वागत करता हूॅ, सभी बच्चीयों ऐसी देवी शक्ति जागृत हो यही शुभेच्छा,,

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Sadly u not the first to bring this up nor the last. Alot of man still feel the women is the slave.. A show called vice had a story of the pink women gang who started beating these man because the law protected any one who has money. Sadly many girls are raped in india and made to say it the girl fault

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I love this post and how interesting its is. I consider myself a feminist, which is defined as someone who supports equal and same rights for women and men. It’s the problem that is in our society. Nowadays, women rights are mostly respected and accepted and should definitely be encouraged but in doing so has somehow degraded men’s rights well, with people now blaming the men. I just wish someday no matter what gender, men and women can unite as one and have the same rights.

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